Self-Care for People Who Care Too Much About Everyone Else

My best friend Cleo, is a self-care ambassador and guru. I am not. It took me a very long time to not equate self-love or self-care with vanity, selfishness and being a loner. I blame Barney for making me think that love is first given, then received. I love everyone else to death and then slap myself a high-five all the time. It’s not enough.

This weekend, I actively got up and said that Sunday would be my day of caring for me. I did not dwell on anything or anyone else. I prayed, I did my nails (for the first time in a long, long time), enjoyed a yoni steam and took a nap. I located my centre, my soul – the parts of me I told myself I am always too busy to look after. Yes, a few hours of time devoted to myself did all of this for me.

I am one of those people who can make everyone they love, their whole world. I asked myself what would happen if I loved myself the way I love others. Do I ask myself how I am doing, if I have eaten something, when was the last time I had a checkup? If I took that same nurturing hand and held myself together – what kind of person would I become?

Self-love has always been a battle for me because I never felt that I was worthy. I didn’t find myself beautiful, or smart (even though I hear it all the time). I gave myself a ton of bullshit reasons as to why I wasn’t good enough, then had them ratified by people who didn’t care for me genuinely either. I even had a hard time taking selfies. I saw someone hideous, feared that people would look in my eyes and see the self-loathing. (Now I am crying and I beat my face so I am doing that weird Kardashian eye-blink thing).

I say all of that to say – I am back. I know that someone reading this is going through the same thing I am. I encourage you first to pray – I believe that God really and truly wants us to feel happiness from within, where He dwells. Then go in the mirror and appreciate everything you criticize about yourself. There is so much beauty in knowing you are not a duplicate – you are your own standard of what is beautiful.

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