I have this nervous tick where I wipe imaginary sweat off my brow when I am thinking of something that weighs heavily on me. When a Facebook friend posted on his feed #AbortionisMurder, my hand instantly went to my forehead and I tried to rub my own memories out of my skull.
The preliminary details are somewhat irrelevant so I will keep them brief – I was 19, a sophomore in college and just had just gotten home for the summer. A fractured prophylactic, a failed emergency contraceptive and a positive pregnancy test resulted in panic, reasoning and decision. The father was aware of the pregnancy and then made himself scarce upon learning of it, with the exception being him telling everyone else he was going to be a dad. I took that as a foreshadowing of what his parenting was going to be like – loud but shallow. In summary, it was just Takiyah and this + sign.
I did what I felt was best for all involved and proceeded with a D&C. (My fingers are starting to tremble over the keys on my keyboard…they do it any time I start to play this song) Seven years later, I still think of it every now and then, especially when I go onto social media and get called a murderer indirectly by someone who thinks they are saving lives.
I challenged him to phrase his (he is a male) statement a little less harshly for those who may have to had to lay that particular cross down. I , and many other women, lived through the experience and only we knew what our thought processes were. The morality of it, the justice of it, the repercussion of it are all things that I have had to ponder and reconcile with God. What triggered me about this social media post is that it was applying judgment where God had already assured a pardon.
It’s a debate that is so much bigger than my story, but I have one. I think that one day I will go into more detail, but for now – I am challenging whoever is reading this, no matter your stance – consider the mother involved. No matter what path she takes, her life will never be the same.